I’m primed, and ready to criticise the shit out of some stuff.
Who’s with me??
Okay, let’s warm up to the idea. Grab your boom box and whack in your fave 80s mixed tape.
Pump up the volume when you hear Olivia start to croon. Just one minor adjustment, when she sings physical, we sing CRITICAL!
Critical. I wanna get criti-caaal, let’s get into critical…
let me hear your inner talk,
that bitchy talk,
let me hear your mean girl talk.
Now are you with me?
I am FED UP with bloody fantastic women being beleaguered by a critical soundtrack in their heads.
Recently, a local plus size inclusive fashion brand had a pop-up, and they shared on social media that EVERY SINGLE CUSTOMER who came into the pop-up shop and tried something on criticised herself when she came out of the dressing room and looked at herself in the mirror. Every. Single. One. God I hoped they were exaggerating, but sadly I bet they weren’t.
I say this with love ladies, what the fuck is up with that?
Let’s get critical of the criticism.
Why are we so bloody awful to ourselves? WHY?! Seriously. We need to think – and talk – about this bullshit.
I’m glad I asked!
I’ll tell you this for nothing, it is not part of our DNA. It truly isn’t.
There’s a lot invested in us believing that it is, but it isn’t.
Speaking of investment, let’s have a think about advertising geared towards women.
A while ago, cruising around my local Coles, I was looking to change up my shampoo and conditioner brand, just for kicks. I spied a new range on the blindingly illuminated shelves of the “beauty aisle”. What’s up with that Coles? It’s just oddly creepy. I looked at the various iterations of what I’m sure is the exact same formula in each distinct bottle, it suddenly struck me that none of the five or six options were for normal hair. None.
Apparently, women don’t have normal hair, women have PROBLEM hair – too frizzy, too dry, too damaged, too blonde, too fine, too female.
Seriously. What the hell is that about?
Let’s get critical of this type of calculated manipulation of female consumers.
Got a face? We can cover it! the make-up advertisers cry from the shelves.
Got hair on your pretty little head? Nobody will ever know it was veering towards lankness once you’ve paid a fortune for our lustrous locks formulation, with pure jojoba and a double dollop of misogyny.
Got hands and nails? Never fear, this 100% self-empowerment free hand creme will leave your digits soft and supple. Just what you need after doing all those dishes!
Got legs? Oh legs, such a problem area… don’t worry ladies, we can shave them, wax them, tan them and firm them, we promise*! (*All promises are voided once you’ve handed over your hard earned cash.)
Sing it Livvy, I wanna get CRITICAL….
I’m just riffing tonight, yet I really want to thoughtfully, critically address this crap that we women are subjected to, and unwittingly subject ourselves to.
I want to encourage your inner critic, but not to double down on shitting on your insecurities. No way.
I want your inner critic to graduate from criticism to critical thinking.
I want to target a “problem area” that the beauty aisle advertisers ignore at their peril, the mind!
BYO leotard and water bottle, this is going to be quite a work-out.