Few things in life are worth setting an early alarm for, but on Thursday night I set one so that I could be on time for Friday’s break in scheduled programming.
At my last cardiac clinic appointment, my fabulous clinic nurse Caroline asked me if I’d be interested in participating in filming a project to educate people either newly diagnosed with, or caring for someone with, heart failure. I said yes before she finished the question. Yes! Resoundingly. She gave me the details and I left the hospital that morning with a spring in my step.
Fast forward to yesterday and I chose a few of my favourite things – all blue – and settled on very minimal makeup because I was a bit spotty. I really wanted to wear no makeup at all, but my ego prevailed. Thanks spots! Just concealer and mineral makeup, not a lick of mascara or anything else. I wanted to look like everyday me on film.
Heart shield activated!
I drove over to St Kilda, reminiscing about old jobs, weddings and friends as I passed familiar buildings, and arrived 20 minutes early because that’s just how I roll.
The studio was located at the back of the back of other businesses, and the light filled reception area was quiet as a church while I filled in my release form and thought about questions I may be asked.
The producer came out and introduced herself, and soon enough I was inside the small studio, chatting with the interviewer.
Lights were adjusted, my minimal makeup got a lift with a bit of bronzer and my mouth went dry.
We started filming and I found myself thinking about the intended audience.
I remember how stressed and scared I was, discovering I had heart failure. Heart failure meant nothing to me, and sadly seems to be equally off the radars of most Australian women. It kills us, in droves, yet we know little about it in the public domain.
Women’s hearts aren’t like men’s, when we have heart attacks we sometimes don’t even realise it. Our symptoms aren’t like the sudden heart attacks men have in the movies. And, sometimes fatally, we don’t want to make a fuss… I was almost in that category by the time I was sent to Emergency. (To be clear, no heart attacks for me.)
In the studio, I talked about going to hospital after an X-ray showed my heart to be worryingly enlarged.
I shared how hard it was to grasp what the doctors were telling me – “you have heart failure”.
I just could not comprehend their words. Had they said cancer, I had a frame of reference, but heart failure – nothing registered.
I recalled how often I spoke to, texted or emailed Caroline in those early days. She was my trusted teacher. Without her availability and expertise, I would have been so lost and unsure of myself. Thank you Caroline.
The experience of being interviewed was thrilling, and as I answered questions, I remembered everything that the last year has been. As I talked, I knew my presence in that studio meant something.
I know people will see these videos, of lots of people living with heart failure, and they’ll be helped.
My story mattered. It matters. And not just in the realm of my heart’s buggered pump.
Stories matter. They shape our lives, even when we aren’t conscious of it.
Being asked to commit part of my story to film was pure joy. And I did well, I know I did. The interviewer, who was great at his job, affirmed that to me.
I was more than happy to contribute, and I wanted to do a good job. For myself, for Caroline, for all the nurses who cared for me so professionally and compassionately in hospital, for my skilful surgeons and for other women with heart issues.
After we finished filming, we chatted and took photos. That’s Caroline giving me a hug, she’s a total rock star.
As I left, the producer said they would use one of my comments in their social media campaign. Chuffed!
I made a quick video for Instagram when I got in my car, and as I watched it back I could see and hear the joy of the day in my voice and on my face.
I was asked to CONTRIBUTE, and I did. Meaningfully. Authentically. Deliberately.
That is my jam.
On Monday, I posted on Facebook about having a quiet day at work, and the sense that in ticking things off the to-do list, I had been contributing to the team. I love that feeling. It’s more important to me than any perk or plush salary.
It’s why I’m here. I want to contribute positively to the world.
Yesterday I was given the opportunity to do that, and it’s the freest, fullest and strongest my heart has felt in a long, long time.
When someone asks you to share your story, don’t dishonour them, or yourself, by breaking eye contact, making a joke or saying you don’t have anything worthwhile to say.
You do.
We ALL do.
The best feelings I’ve EVER had come from exchanging stories – knowing yourself and having someone invite you to share it, and listening to someone tell you who they are. Whether that’s over coffee or in a studio is neither here nor there – tell your story, and be open to other people’s stories. It’s what connects us.
My heartfelt thanks to you, Caroline. You reminded me why I’m here, and that’s a beautiful gift.
Annette xx
I Give You The Verbs 
Just awesome! You are a great teacher & I’m sure that women will get lots of encouragement from your involvement in this video. Well done you!!
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Thanks Michelle!
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Fantastic!! I hope we get to see your involvement in this worthwhile event!! You are da bomb, Annette!!💜
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I’ll definitely share what I can Maz!!
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Thank you for telling this story of that telling of your story. So brilliant!. I have to say, in a hopefully non condescending and supportive way that includes a fair bit of jumping up and down, I’m soooooo proud of you!!!!!!
You inspire me.
Thank you a bajillion.
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I receive it Sair!! ❤️❤️
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What a wonderful day experience for you & privilege they had in securing your words of experience for this patient/carer centred video.
Congratulations! You looked awesome & I bet sounded great too.
Education is key!
And you are part of the future to help others. Well-done Annette!
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Thank you Denyse, I left the studio yesterday wanting to take the show on the road!!
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It’s why I’m here. I want to contribute positively to the world
And you do my friend you do. Awesome xxx
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Having amazingly encouraging friends helps me so much Edie. ❤️❤️ Thank you.
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What a fantastic contribution you have made, sharing your story will certainly help others. Well done
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I sure hope so Danielle, thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
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So good Annette. Loved reading this. Every person’s story is valid and I love that you were able to share your story of something that I know little about, that will encourage other women facing a similar circumstance.
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That’s my hope Bec. Heart disease kills more women than cancer, in Australia, yet most women never consider their risk factors. We need to look after our hearts!
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What a fab opportunity, Annette! I know you will have contributed with heart – no pun intended! – and soul. Your words will provide comfort to many. As chronic illness sufferers in our home it’s so important to hear the experiences of others with your own condition.
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It’s incredibly important isn’t it? We need to know we aren’t facing these challenges alone. I’m thrilled I got the opportunity to share my story.
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Annette, from the moment I met you I knew you had a way with words…….but yesterday was totally awesome 👏🏼
I felt immensely proud of you & the other 4 patients who told their stories. You’ll no doubt make a difference to others going through a confronting, life changing & harrowing experience.
Thank you for your beautiful words & your absolute honesty in sharing your experience.
And…..didn’t we have fun?!
Keep telling your story & keep blogging. You are helping others & doing yourself proud 👍🏼
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So much fun! What an honour to get to participate.
You’ve been utterly instrumental in helping me manage this new normal Caroline. Thank you seems insufficient. I hope that hearing patient stories yesterday reminded you that you’re doing such an important job. 😘
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That’s great Annette. Congratulations. I know you would have been great telling your story and your words will help others
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Thanks Kristine! I really hope people find our stories helpful.
I’ll share the video when it’s done, it was a real honour to get to talk about how I’ve adapted to life with a chronic illness.
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I remember when my husband got the shock news he needed open heart surgery, we were given a video to watch. It was like yours… interviews with people who have been through it. It was by far the most useful resource for us and helped us with the non medical stuff. I still remember one of the patients talking about how emotional he felt about his situation and it gave my guy permission to express the fears and sadnesses that were occurring for him. Your work will make a massive difference to countless people Nettie. You already do, but your reach just got bigger! You need to be spokesperson.
Love you and your heart.
❤
Rach
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Love you too Rach. I’ll be thrilled to be a small part of someone’s experience of learning to live with heart failure. Stories matter!
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That is awesome! I am sure your story will help others more than you know.
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Thank you Anne, I truly hope so.
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How ace to do something like that! I am so glad that you’ve been sharing your story, for this program but right from the start of your illness. I have learnt so much from you about heart health and about sodium in food. It has been such an eye opener! What you have shared over the past year has informed daily decisions that I make around the food that I eat and prepare for my family. Thank you for being so generous with your knowledge, while going such a significant personal change. 💖
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Collette, you have made my week with this comment! You’ve been making my week for quite a while now actually. Knowing that others are positively impacted by this heart shamoz of mine is such a big, beautiful silver lining. ❤️
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How wonderful, Annette – so great to hear that you played such an important role (hearing from others is so important, and I can just imagine how well you communicated your experience). You’ve come so far over the past year – well done, you! x
I do love hearing your positive nurse experience too- I know I’m biased with Al, but I see how much so many, not just him, give through their work and it’s lovely to hear others appreciate it.
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Nurses and teachers…. utter rock stars!!
I’m so happy to know that sharing my health story, as I have for the past year, and now getting this opportunity, does and will make a difference to people. It’s such an honour to be part of helping others know they can make it through whatever happens.
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In the world of storytelling – you are a rockstar. Keep talking. Keep writing. Keep sharing. The world needs rockstar teachers.
F xx
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😘 you teach and inspire me Fran xx
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