Sometimes it seems that bloggers spill every thought they have on to the internet.
Some spill a lot more than others do, some carefully curate every sentence and image. Each to their own I say, sitting somewhere between the two works for me.
Today’s thought is this: speaking the thing that’s troubling you can be mighty powerful.
I’ve been turning something over in my mind for a while, something that’s had me feeling kinda flat and sorta angsty.
Last night I spoke it. Well, I typed it, in a conversation with a bloggy pal.
Nothing changed, except for the most important thing: I un-closeted that niggly thought, and some of the creepy secretive gunk that gets on things we mull over and feel that we should keep to ourselves fell away. Phew.
I’m not sure how I’m going to navigate it just yet, but I don’t need to be. The simple, though not easy, act of spilling it has already freed me up to drag that niggle out of the closet and into the light.
Light is a fantastic antiseptic to secret, unnecessarily shame-y things.
Things that seem big and scary in shadowy places often look quite different in the light of day.
I think the trick is knowing where to spill stuff. Opportunity presented itself last night, and it just spilled over. I was tired of worrying about it, of not doing the simplest thing about it, like hitting up Google. After I spilled the words, and a few tears, I googled. And I felt less alone.
Have you noticed that I haven’t told you what got spilt? I’m not going to. I don’t need to. Not now anyway.
Brené Brown says many a wise thing, but one that’s stuck with me is her advice about sharing, or spilling. In a nutshell, she says it’s up to us to choose our audience. It’s not wise to just pour our hearts out here, there and everywhere. We have to discern when the right opportunity presents itself, and decide who to trust with our vulnerabilities. This has been a good reminder for me, as someone who tries to live a pretty open life.
So, dear readers, if you are feeling angsty or like a dam about to burst, may I suggest that you gather up your courage and just tell someone. That someone can be whomever you choose, your partner, a workmate, a girlfriend, your GP, therapist or your journal (baby steps are still steps).
Pass me the paper towels. I’ve got a spillage to clean up.
Don’t forget to #lookup,