Last week I attended my first blogging conference.
Wait, I did what?
My blog is only six months old, I don’t write ‘consistently’, and I do not have any kind of editorial calendar or strategy. I’ve only looked at my stats two or three times (stats leave me feeling queasy) – and yet off I trotted to the Gold Coast last week, to attend the ProBlogger Training Event 2014.
It was a fantastic event, and yet on some level, I found it quite an overwhelming event to attend. Not that people weren’t lovely, they all were. Queensland put on gorgeous weather, the QT Hotel was lovely, the food was AMAZING, it looked set to be a great weekend.
But before I went to bed on Thursday night, having spent a few hours with some RAD ladies from my Blog With Pip course, I recognised that I felt, well, a bit jangly. Unnerved. Anxious. Like tears were in my immediate future. I was so right!
Darren Rowse’s Friday morning keynote was sensational – he reminded me that bloggers are just ordinary people doing extraordinary things. Phew, I fit in the ordinary part of that equation, maybe extraordinary is in my future. And I definitely need to see the LEGO movie, stat!
Pat Flynn, a blogging guru I freely admit I’d never heard of before his name got attached to #pbevent, was also a great speaker to listen to – entertaining, informative, enthusiastic. I’ve had Backstreet Boys tunes running through my mind all week thanks to his illustrations about his wife’s obsession with those dance steppin’, love croonin’ lads. Pat told us that just like the Backstreet Boys have raving fans, bloggers can have raving fans too. I know this is true, because I am a raving fan of Styling You, Woogsworld, Meet Me At Mikes, BabyMac and quite a few more… so the morning’s teaching was excellent. Top notch.
Strange then, that not 10 minutes later I was crying into my fruit salad during the morning tea break. It could have been the sheer number of humans crammed around those tables trying to get themselves some juicy slices of watermelon, but I think it was more of an overwhelming moment of ‘what the hell am I doing here?!’.
Luckily, I had just introduced myself to Kylie from Life, Love & Lattes, and she coped admirably with my little meltdown. Thank you so much Kylie. Seriously, #pbevent MVP right there!
I managed to pull myself together enough to attend the next session, which was again, fantastic. But at the end of that session, the tears returned, and I retreated upstairs to the bloggers’ lounge (thank you SO MUCH for providing that space for we intoverts, and for the correct apostrophe placement #pbevent team) where I sat crying for quite some time. I was feeling ALL OF THE THINGS and couldn’t quite work out which one was the eye of the storm. So, I did what any writer does, I put pen to paper to try and make some sense of my feelings.
I felt overwhelmed. I felt really confronted by having a few, JUST A FEW – maybe four, people recognise me and say they liked my blog or loved my Instagram feed… I don’t know if I can describe how surreal the feeling of being recognised live in person, in the real world, not from behind a computer screen, is. I felt vulnerable and like I didn’t know what to say to them, I felt unimpressive and awkward. I was so taken aback by that feeling, as I had expected to totally enjoy the face to face meet-ups and find them super uplifting and easy. (Let’s clarify that I DID enjoy meeting people, I had some fab conversations, I just had some issues acclimatising to face to face contact!)
That morning, I felt unsure of myself and out of my depth. I felt like a total wanker for having business cards in my bag. I won’t say I felt like a fraud, because I love blogging and want to get better and better at it, but I felt almost all the other things, and it was a really exhausting morning.
Later in the day, with my composure tenuously in place, I sidled over to Beth from BabyMac before a session, and we had a wee chat, where I CRIED AGAIN. Oh my gawd. Beth has been someone who probably without even realising it, has been a massive encouragement to me as I’ve started out on the blogging journey. So I was crying, again, and Beth was so kind to me (winning at being the same IRL/URL) and she assured me that it is indeed weird to be recognised for something we do in isolation, but that people are generally lovely. The fab Mrs Woog (why does it feel really overly intimate to call her Kayte??) also came and joined in our convo, and offered me a squirt of Rescue Remedy. Bless! I love those ladies. Seriously, you two, you’re AWESOME.
Thankfully, that was the end of the tears at ProBlogger, but it is only one aspect of the amazing weekend that we had together.
I want to really ponder the things I heard and reflect on the awesome people I got to meet, but if I try to do that all in one post, it will be too much.
Now that the tears have been mopped up, and I’m back at home, I’m going to read through my notes, ponder the beautiful people I got to meet and share stories and laughs with, and I’ll fill you in with Part 2, The People, really soon.
One thing before I sign off for today – I want you to know that I appreciate every single one of you that reads my blog – I truly do. I appreciate your comments (blogger oxygen), your encouragement, your ‘likes’ on my Instagram feed and Facebook page, your favourite & retweet button pressing on Twitter, your laughter, and your baking prowess. Without you, this is pointless.
And as fabulous as that QT Hotel bed was, there really is no place like home. Just me and my laptop, and all of you.
BIG LOVE,
Annette xxx
I Give You The Verbs 
I’ve been blogging for almost a year and a half and I still feel like a fraud. I’m not sure if that will ever go away. Thanks for sharing such an honest account of your experience. Everything I read about this event galvanises my resolve to go next year, and those small acts of kindness you describe are such a lovely testament to the sense of community it generates.
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There is amazing community, for sure! You aren’t a fraud, you’re doing it. Keep at it, start saving for 2015’s conference, it will likely be bigger than Ben Hur. Or is it Hurr?? Meh.
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This is a beautiful post! So honest. The week before problogger I was in panic mode! What did I get myself into! Fortunately everyone was so lovely I dont have a bad thing to say about anyone I met there! Bummed I didn’t get to meet you at pbevent – maybe 2015!
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I like to have my meltdowns on site whenever possible!! Thanks Vanessa, yes – it was a fab experience, once I got over the shock of being there.
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This honest post, your blog, your raw feelings are charming, Annette. I can’t think of another way to describe the feeling of reading this post. x
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Bless! I don’t think I’ve ever been called charming before – thanks for the encouragement. You didn’t do too shabbily yourself lady!! I have a long list of tips and apps to check out, thanks to you.
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Annette that was a great ‘raw’ account of how you experienced it. I think you were very brave – I find personally anytime I meet large groups of people its overwhelming. It must of been a very ‘intense’ couple of days for so many – people, info, buzz, inspiration and reflection all packed in!! I think in the months to come you will still be enjoying the reflections and information that you have gleamed from this conference, not to mention the ongoing friendships! PS; I always think tears are just as an important emotion as joy and laughter… its a great release value, and for me it usually brings a lot of clarity afterwards – tears can be pretty cool I say!
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Tears are totally a pressure release valve. Once they’re out, I feel HEAPS better.
I think I’m going to be taking lessons from the conference for a long time too.
As always, I’m so appreciative of your support and encouragement Natalie!
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Great post Annette – I think you captured what a lot of people felt/feel perfectly. I think the team are onto this which is why the provide spaces, happiness creators and a welcoming atmosphere. I was completely overwhelmed last year but this year was much easier/more fun.
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They did an awesome job – I totally agree! And I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who felt a bit overwhelmed by it all.
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I wrote a post along the same lines on Friday night. I got over it by lunch time on Saturday and then it was almost time to go home! I can’t wait until next year when I’ll be much more prepared. I’ll see you there!
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It definitely felt like I hit my stride on Saturday, I wanted it to go on into Sunday by then!
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Oh Hun I had no idea that you had such feelings and moments over the weekend. I’m so glad you went to the conference, as a first timer though it’s a bit if a head spin isn’t? Given it was my first time I’m glad living on the GC I went home each day to the family. It was a great distraction from the the head spin. I’m an extrovert but I need to switch off at times, especially after something so big.
I hope that at the end of the last day I didn’t make you feel weird when I said I was just going to hug you and I did? I enjoyed seeing your joy and enthusiasm over the weekend. You’re awesome.
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Hey Trudie, fear not, I would never let someone hug me if I didn’t want them to. I have good boundaries! It was a great weekend, just had a wobble on the Friday, that’s all. It was an eye opener to so many things, including that I hate schlepping through airports!!
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I have heard that conferences like this can be overwhelming. I have heard that the energy generated is sometimes too much for us introverts to cope with – it is like we absorb it all unable to filter it out and then we turn to mush. But it sounds like, despite the emotion of it all, you had a good time and got to meet some lovely people – real life connections that are so important in the blogging world. And being recognised is TOTALLY awesome!
I look forward to part two Annette.
xx
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Overall it was fabulous Sarah. Definitely a great weekend.
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Oh goodness, what a mixed weekend for you! I’m sure there were many others who were overcome with emotions too. I’m no way ready to go to anything like Problogger but I’ve loved reading everyone’s accounts of the conference. So enlightening! Mrs Woog and Babymac are complete sweethearts to rescue you too!
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They sure are! It was fantastic, great teaching, just a bit full on initially. Loved the opportunity to be there!
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Great post Annette – that many people, ideas, creativity and sheer intensity all in one conference sounds awesome and full-on too! I find tears come at all moments too, and once they start for me there’s no stopping them. It’s been interesting reading different bloggers’ takes on PB – thank you for sharing.
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Hey Pia, it took a while for them to stop, but I’m glad they did! So much fun when I wasn’t crying!
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Awesome post, Annette. My first #pbevent was absolutely draining too. Next year will be a lot better, I promise 🙂
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I’ll be checking the size of the break out rooms for exit points Kim! It was fab to meet such great people
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What a beautifully honest post Annette. I feel inspired by your honesty and reminded about why I started blogging in the first place. Thank-you 🙂
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Rachel, that’s so kind! I just write what I feel, faking it or polishing it up is too much work! Blogging is fantastic isn’t it?
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Sure is!
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Great wrap-part-one! I am so glad you pushed yourself and headed to ProBlogger. And I’m so glad you got to meet those ‘big bloggers’ and listen to the good stuff they had to say. I love PBEVENT. It’s always really affirming and motivating! x
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It was rad Pip, everyone I spoke to was lovely, interesting and interested in what I’m doing. The “big” and the “on their way” and the “not launched yet”. All lovely!! And so ace to meet some awesome Pipsters.
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ARGH I can totally relate! ANXIETY about having business cards in your bag-I GET IT. Good on you for bloody doing it though. I would love to go one day. Will have to pack the valium though because I get awkward and fumbly in social situations.
Can’t wait to hear the next installment. x
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Natasha, it was more a pretentious feeling than anxiety on that front! It was a great experience – I highly recommend it.
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What a great, totally open, honest post. I have not attended anything of that nature – yet. But I can only imagine feeling much the same as you did. Sounds like it was a great conference for you!
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It was so great Kendra! I always find it best to just write in an unvarnished manner. Easier too!
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[…] many blog posts I have read about being authentic and honest in the blogosphere. Annette at I Give You The Verbs wrote a beautifully honest post about her experience at the problogger event that has inspired me […]
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A moving, honest post Annette. I bet there were lots of other bloggers feeling just the same way. I suppose every time you hit the publish button on a post , even though you’ve put yourself out there into the world, you can sit back and hide a bit in your own living room. But at a conference you must feel a bit more exposed. I would love to attend one year, it sounds like an amazing event. I might have to psych myself up first though 🙂
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That’s exactly it Jane!!
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For me, I don’t think I will ever overcome that feeling of being a very small fish in a ridiculously large pond. While I am an extrovert, I’m also ridiculously insecure, but the way it manifests is that I overcompensate with loudness and then spend days after things analysing every little thing I said and feeling a fool. I went to the Digital Parent’s Conference in 2013 and it was awesome. I didn’t “know” a single other person there, but I made some very good friends over those two days and I am so glad for the experience. I am super keen to go to PBEvent next year and have already started saving. I know I will be crapping my dacks in the lead-up to it, but if I don’t push myself then nobody else will.
Just keep doing what you do lady, because there are a lot of us who love ya work!
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Hey Kylie, you know what I find great? Whatever size “fish” we are, there’s room for all of us in the blogging sea! Going to the conference was great, but I reckon hanging out on my blog with readers is even better!
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I don’t blog and have no intention of blogging but I LOVE reading them. I have only recently come across your blog and am thoroughly enjoying it. I also appreciate that you seem to interact with your readers which is great – and I hope you can keep it up. Looking forward to reading more
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Hi Anna, without readers, bloggers are out of business. I’m so glad you’re enjoying what I am putting out into cyberspace. Blogs are ALL about people, I really believe that. Hope you keep reading and joining the conversation. I’d love to know how you stumbled upon I Give You The Verbs.
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Oh, Annette, I so know what you mean – all a bit of a shock to the system! It was wonderful meeting you and hope I didn’t freak you out on the bus 🙂 xoxox
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You did not! It was great to put a real live face to a BWP chick!
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Congratulations on moving from overwhelm to recognising what you’ve already achieved as a blogger and writer. It’s easy to fall into comparison mode and feel like everyone else has got it all together, especially if they’ve been working much longer. We all start somewhere and I’m sure you have many experiences and achievements from your pre-blogging days that you can infuse into your writing. Plus, you’re at least 6 months ahead of those who wish they had a blog, but haven’t found the courage to start.
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Hey Kristy, you’re so right, comparison is a slippery slope! I am pretty good at leaving well alone on that front. Best for me to focus on what I’m doing, and I’m really enjoying that. Thanks for your encouragement, and yes there’s plenty of life experience to translate into blog posts, for sure.
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I love reading the ProBlogger recaps, thanks for writing one. It sounds like a great event. And the introvert spaces sounds amazing! Sometimes events with so many people are just so overwhelming on the senses.
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It was really fantastic, they know their demographic – there are plenty of introverts out there blogging.
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I can totally relate to the surreal feeling of people recognizing you live in person. It can totally be overwhelming. As personable as I on the webinar, it is still a one way conversation that I bring them into. To know that I connect with them to the point they feel they are privileged to meet someone special live in the flesh is very overwhelming and HUMBLING. Keep up the great work!
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Humbling is exactly the right word! I’m still amazed that anyone reads my ramblings. Thanks for being one of those people Tamira.
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It sounds like the event pushed you out of your comfort zone a little! Overwhelming and scary, of course, but also a big opportunity for growth! So glad you met up with some amazing people who supported you during the tears – it’s a human moment and most of us have been there whether we like to admit it or not!
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It certainly did Andrea! It was a great weekend, and it leaves me thinking about what kind of blogger I want to be – at this stage it is not at all about statistics, growing a ‘business’ or any of that stuff. It is about getting a conversation going, creating a little community and writing from the heart. Sharing those human moments you’ve alluded to.
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I think an event like this would be overwhelming for anyone big or small blog. I’ve read a few blogs popular and new and they all seem to have highs and lows too at problogger and also needed time out alone to re-energise. Most bloggers are working in a quiet environment behind a computer screen often just them or a few family members about so I can imagine how overwhelming it would be. Thanks for your insightful post and I think you are brave to go and YOU did really well! Hopefully I will go one day too and I am sure I will suffer the same highs and lows especially as I am quite isolated and not use to being in a room with a lot of people and networking.
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I think I was brave to go too Zena, thanks! My blog was only 4 weeks old when I bought my ticket. It was a great experience.
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You can cry on my shoulder ANY day Annette! I totally get it. I’m so glad we could just sit and have a natter…tears and all! xx
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On ya Beth! Let’s try one sans tears next time, just for the hell of it. Maybe a chat over a glass of bubbly? I do love a natter. I’m almost SURE I can still do that without crying.
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[…] Reflections From Problogger 2014 – Part 1, The Tears via I Give You The Verbs […]
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[…] Reflections From Problogger 2014 – Part 1, The Tears via I Give You The Verbs […]
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[…] Reflections From Problogger 2014 – Part 1, The Tears via I Give You The Verbs […]
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